Gwen Meets: A. Fairy

Gwen: Guid mornin. Ah'm here frae the Scots Language Dictionaries tae see if A can find oot a wee bit aboot fairies. Can ye spare me a wee minute o yer time?

Fairy: We fairies live a lang, lang time. Aiblins A hae mair time tae spare than ye dae yersel. Speir awa.

Gwen: Yer a bittie bigger nor A expected ye tae be. Whit is the average hecht o a fairy?

Fairy: Nae doot ye were expectin daft wee gossamer wings an aw, like the picters o fairies in Victorian buiks? Nae wey. Nae wings. That's a load o sentimental auld rubbish. Maist us are a bittie ower a metre heich, that's atween three an fower fit, if ye're a bit auld farrant like masel.

Gwen: A hope ye'll no mind me askin: should fowk be feart o fairies?

Fairy: It's ay as weel tae be polite tae us. Gin ye get on wir richt side, we micht tak a notion tae grant ye three wishes.

Gwen: Dae ye hae ony bad habits?

Fairy: Weel, whyles we'll tak a human bairn an pit a fairy bairn in its place. Humans get fair bealin aboot that.

Gwen: Fave holiday destination?

Fairy: I like to bide wi ma relations in Balquhidder in the summer. That's ane o the last places whaur ye'll find fairy fowk noo. Gwen: Fave food?

Fairy: Milk.

Gwen: Fave colour?

Fairy: Green.

Gwen: Fave music?

Fairy: The Fairy Reel

Gwen: Dae ye hae ony special talents?

Fairy: Aye, we're affae guid at disapp..